SPOILER ALERT…you are not going to learn much from what’s written below, especially when it concerns basketball, youth basketball, basketball hairstyles, really anything having to do with anything. At best, you might be mildly entertained or give a slight chuckle. I decided to take a break from the normal seriousness of our blogs (see here, here and here) and do my best to give Pro Skills Basketball a bad name.

But, I just can’t resist. Watching these NBA playoffs, I’ve marveled at the variety of new and interesting hairstyles being sported by NBA players.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate diversity and actually like most of these basketball hair designs. If you were to google my name, you might find a picture of me sporting an 80’s soccer-mom hairdo from my long-haired days at Davidson. Hey, we all have pictures from the past that make us wish the internet didn’t exist.

Anyway, enough rambling. Here are my top 5 basketball hairstyles from the 2016 NBA Playoffs.

#5. Dennis Schröder

Before you get all upset and think that I’m insensitive, I did some research here. The Schröder hairstyle, or as I’m calling it, the Deutschland Dollop, is not a birthmark.

Or maybe I was an idiot for thinking that is was a birthmark in the first place…

Anyway, according to this article, which I did not fact-check, Schröder’s mom, a hairstylist in Germany, encouraged Dennis to dye a blond spot in his hair at a young age so he would stand-out.

That takes guts…which I like. Which is why I’ve given Dennis the indistinct honor of being named to this list. Congratulations, Dennis!

#4. Lucas Nogueira

According to Wikipedia, Lucas is a 7-foot center from Brazil. I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t seen him play much, but judging by the pictures I found online, I’m guessing that he is a legitimate 7-feet tall and his wing-span looks to be somewhere in the 12 to 13 foot range.

But, I do remember him being drafted back in 2013.

That draft night, the commentators had a solid, uptight chortle as Lucas’s attempted to balance his hat on his giant man-fro.

Like it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. They couldn’t believe that someone had the balls to be different. It made me angry! Lucas should have been celebrated for his willingness to let this hairstyle ride. Props to you, Lucas!

#3. Kyle Singler

I will admit, Kyle does not sport this fantastic hairdo any longer. I found a few pictures here and I just couldn’t help myself.  

It appears as though Deb took these pictures just after Uncle Rico got done with his glamour shots. Holy cow, this picture is amazing!

Kyle spent a year played abroad in Spain and looks to have been greatly influenced by Euro fashion….as we all are. I came back from two years of living in France rocking a man-purse and slick-backed hairstyle and was immediately ridiculed by friends. But I rocked it anyway…just like Kyle!

# 2. Steven Adams

You’re right, Steven Adams would not be on this list would it not be for the ‘stach….but you have to admit, that ‘stach is super sweet.

Sports fans haven’t seen a ‘stach this sweet since Rollie Fingers left the diamond in 1985.

Adding to the legend that is Steven Adams is the fact that he is from New Zealand, has a sick sleeve tattoo that doesn’t cover his shoulder, is super athletic and to top it all off, could care less what anyone thinks about him.

According to Wikipedia, one thing many people might not know is that Steven’s mother is Tongan. I went to high school with many Tongans and I know from experience, they are not to be trifled with!

His sister is a world-champion and gold-medalist shot putter for crying out loud! The awesomeness that is Steven Adam’s just continues to grow!! Steven makes this list for his overall hairstyle and blasé attitude. Keep the locks flowing and the mustache curling, Steven! 

#1. Jeremy Lin

Ok, this should really come as no surprise. Jeremy’s changing hairstyles really deserve a blog unto themselves. For this, I apologize, Jeremy.

Throughout the year, Jeremy has gifted Hornets fans the pleasure of his many, many hairstyles and designs. Kids arrived at Time Warner Cable Arena not only wondering, “Are the Hornets going to win?”,  “Will I catch a t-shirt?”, “Will I be able to get Michael Jordan’s autograph?”, but Jeremy added to the list.

Kids and adults alike traveled from near and far to Hornets games wondering, “What will Jeremy Lin’s hairstyle look like for tonight’s basketball game?!?”.

It was the talk of the town (not really). And it all reached it’s crescendo-of-awesomeness with the Play-off Man Bun …with shaved sides.

The Hornets gave it a spirited run against the Heat, but came up a little short. 

But the real treat, as a Hornets fan, was to be had all season long with the ever-changing basketball hairdos of Jeremy Lin. The city thanks you, Jeremy. Can’t wait to see what you have in store for next season!