What to Do if Your Child Isn’t Getting Playing Time in Youth Basketball?

By Logan Kosmalski | Former Davidson Player, Co-Founder of Pro Skills Basketball

One of the most difficult parts of youth sports—especially basketball—is navigating the emotional ups and downs that come with limited playing time. As a parent, watching your child struggle with disappointment can be heartbreaking. As a coach, we see it too—kids on the end of the bench with slumped shoulders and crushed confidence.

The reality is, playing time in youth basketball is never an easy equation. Coaches are constantly balancing development, fairness, and competitiveness. But whether your child is a starter or deep in the rotation, there are valuable life lessons waiting to be learned—if we help them see the opportunity.

3 Ways to Support Your Child If They’re Disappointed in Their Playing Time

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1. Help Them Identify a Role the Team Needs

If your child isn’t getting much playing time, one of the best things they can do is find something the team is missing—and become great at it.

Here are examples:

• Does the team struggle to rebound? Help your child learn proper rebounding techniques.

• Not enough hustle plays? Teach them to go after every loose ball with maximum effort.

• Trouble breaking the press? Encourage them to become calm, smart decision-makers under pressure.

• Lacking communication on defense? Being a loud, vocal leader can be a game-changer.

Good coaches at every level notice these things. If your child consistently contributes in areas that help the team win—no matter how small—they will earn trust and, eventually, more minutes. Playing time often follows effort, attitude, and role mastery.

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2. Encourage Them to Be Engaged From the Bench

Bench behavior matters.

The players who sit with great body language, cheer on their teammates, and offer helpful insights are often the same players who earn more opportunities over time. Coaches see it. Teammates appreciate it. And your child will feel more connected and empowered—even without stepping on the floor.

Some of my favorite memories as a player came when I was on the bench supporting my teammates. I found joy and purpose in being a great teammate, and that mindset made the entire experience better.

Pouting on the bench? That helps no one—and it’s not a winning trait in sports or life. Team sports are a great way to teach selflessness and belonging. If your child learns to support the group when things aren’t going their way, they’re gaining far more than just minutes on the court.

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3. Use This as a Chance to Teach Humility and Perseverance

There’s a quote I love:

“It’s amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.”

At Pro Skills Basketball, we often remind families: there are no teams with 10 point guards, 10 starters, or 10 leading scorers. That’s just not how the game works.

Basketball teaches young athletes to work together, to lead when needed, and to put the team above themselves. Not getting playing time right now? That’s a perfect opportunity to build resilience, grit, and humility. Traits that last far beyond the court.

And let’s be honest—as parents, we play a big role here. The tone you set on the ride home or around the dinner table has a huge impact. If you frame the situation as a challenge to overcome, your child will rise to it. If you focus only on what’s “unfair,” you may unintentionally teach blame and entitlement.

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Final Thoughts

There’s a common misconception that youth sports are supposed to be all fun, all the time. But the reality is—competition involves struggle, failure, and frustration. And that’s why youth sports are such powerful teachers.

At Pro Skills Basketball, we believe that every tough moment—like not getting much playing time—is a moment to grow. It’s a chance for your child to learn how to be a great teammate, how to lead with character, and how to stay committed to improvement.

Years from now, your child won’t remember every game or stat. But they will remember the friendships, the coaches who believed in them, and the lessons they learned about life.

That’s the real win.

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